Love is a Verb

Yeah.... People still suck. Wut else is new right? I hope everyone is doing good. Later.

Ok ok so I know I wasn't gonna talk on this and I haven't for a bit so it totally counts in that whole scenario but I have had sooo much shit on my mind and been soooo down while just sitting at my house that I have to like talk to maybe somebody. So let me get you thinking.

Now yeah it is another relationship question. And no my relationship isn't in jeopardy. (That I know of at this time. but hey al ot can happen in an hour.)So lately life hasn't treated me well and yeah I keep rolling with the punches, but I can only sit down and wonder about why everyone I seem to know or talk to seems to have a problem with me or have to make any comment sound mean.I mean it is a *weird* (lol) thing to think about. If it would be in a relationship, a home environment or more personal with friends maybe?? It all works out to the same point. Now I know I am no different than most of the world when it comes to this subject and I know a few of you have thought about this type of stuff before.

The basic point is Assumption. Yes ASSUMPTION! I have had the motto for quite sometime that "we weren't meant to assume." But people do it all the time... I do it and it seems to lead to the wrong thing every time. Is it really right to Assume something of someone? You can't assume that because someone has stared at an empty pizza box next to there bed on the floor that they will pick it up. Or that your significant other will call or text you cause they haven't talked to you in a day or two. And you can't think that someone will get you something cause you just dropped a hint about it and kept going on. All that it is good for is ending up in an argument. Yeah when assuming works out it is a mildly good thing usually at best. And 90% of the time it doesn't seem to work out anyways. Out of all those examples and more you are probably thinking about now where do you finally think assuming gets you? It is creepy how many times you do it everyday and don't notice it. Expecting to come home from work and finding dinner on the table and being let down, going to work and seeing someone didn't do what you left for them last night, Waiting for that call that you think is coming and doing nothing all day. Now I know that there can be reasons for some of these let-downs like work or some other life issue. But come on, it isn't hard to see. I don't know.... Assuming... It just seems different when you think about it.

I'm shutting this down.
I don't really feel like saying anything anymore.
Probably ever.

So this is gonna be a bit of a hard weekend. So much stuff is happening at home and it is the one weekend in months that I am leaving town. I am sure I will have a great time but I know I will be thinking of my baby the whole time I am there. I just found out how heartbroken she was about her second car of the cars that were "her cars" being taken away thanks to her asshole of a community. Plus that past couple of days have been pretty tough for her. I am really happy that we are talking alot more now... and about some of the more serious things she has on her mind. Which is good cause I think that even though we are just talking about it it is helping her with it. But she is feeling quite sick which makes me sad cause I can't do anything to help really except for be there for her if she ever needs me. Plus I always worry about her like its my job. Even though I know she can take care of herself more than easily there are just some points where I know it isn't something she can just walk her own way through. So I guess for now I am off to canadia and when I get back come back to being here for my love. It's just one of those things I will be happy to never stop doing.

Well idk there isn't too much to say I guess. School started again. I got lucky and have all my classes on 2 days. So that should be good. I can work now. And I need a job lol. I realized though I am going to like die. I have darts on tuesday nights starting at the end of the month. I am hoping to have a job to where I work all days not tues. thurs. cause those are my class days. So needless to say I am going to be spread thin.
Sarah and I have our 1year this month. I haven't hit that in awhile and to be honest it is kinda getting to me. But I love her so damn much it is awsome. Her b'day is next month too. That should be cool but that is going to step up her life again and she knows it. The stress she is walking with is insane. So I am gonna end up bracing for that with her.
Shit is catching up with me too. Random patch of depression that I will have to hurdle over to keep my life going. I just let stupid shit catch up to me, and think about shit way too much. But it is having a positive effect on my sleeping habbits. lol

Well ttyl.

Havent posted in a day or to sooo no is as good a time as any. The weekend was cool. I actually got time to spend with my girlfriend without anyone else but her annoying family there. lol I worked for a good portion of the weekend just doing random stuffs around. Yesterday was our 11 month.I am pretty happy for that. Next month will be like woah! lol I went shopping with Sarah and her family yesterday.... which would have been fun minus the family. Her family is insane when out together. But I didn't mind it cause we got to spend time together and we got to hang out at her house and not have to play hockey. And that was AWSOME. lol But I still really hate people. :P I really wish she could have come over and stayed the night though. It is ridiculous that any time I like see her someone is attached to her like shackles.

Anyway... just had the most amazing and bad dream in about a year. Not gonna go into it... but it involved alot of bad and me getting arrested, cars getting wrecked while people arent even driving them. It was just insane and scary stuff.

Well today I guess wasn't to bad. Atleast it ended well. Today I got up to Jog. Which is always fun at the butt ass crack of dawn. Then went to the gym for the first time in days. Once I returned I asked my dad about wut we were supposed to do today cause I was asked to go to the fair by my brother and I said no cause I had to work with him.

Well the went down kinda like this... I had to pay for school so I could register for more classes. So I asked my dad if I could use the truck. When he said yes I left and started to drive the truck when I noticed the whole truck was rattleing. I got out to check and sure enough I had a flat. So by the time I could go and pay my tuition it was already like one in the afternoon.

So when I got back I realized pete had IMed me and said he was going to the gym. So I said shit I have nothing better to do... I will tag along. So I worked out again.

When I was there I noticed that Sarah's cousins texted me... which was weird cause they didn't have there fone on. And they got there power back too. So I came home and showered then went over to Sarah's. I think I kinda killed her when she came upstairs and realized I was there. Then she waited for Dan to get there and went outside to talk to Pete and Dan. So at the point I just was like you know wut... I am going to go eat some food. lol So I went outside to wait for the call of where my rents were eating.

I got the usual at dominicks and kinda had a good talk with my Dad. I have had alot of shit going through my mind the last couple of days and really no one to talk to cause it doesn't feel right. I haven't really been able to like talk to my g/f cause when I see here she is usually talking to or around random people that just get on my nerves. And my friends I would talk to are off doing there own thing. But with everything at home and in the social life I have just been really like pissed and stressed. So my dad suggested going down to the bar and playing darts like in the old days. That was pretty rad.

I actually finally got to spend a little bit of time with my girlfriend afterwards too. I was amazed. Maybe she was bored or something. But she asked me to hang out and how am I really gonna pass that up? I mean I would have just been stupid. So I went over there and really didnt' do much. But we sat outside for a bit and just watched the lightning. Then I decided I was gonna go cause I was gonna not wanna let her go. Even though I kinda already didn't.

I would say other than the flat, and the bored at sarah's I had a decent day after all.
This is AJ saying goodnight and goodluck.

Well this was just a long day....Well in fact this is just the beginning of today actually but the same rule applies cause I am really talking about yesterday. The last couple of days I have been backwards in talking of sorts so getting this certain day shit is crazy.

Now I have been up a like 5:00-5:30 the last couple of days and not gone to bed till the north hours of the morning, and it is wearing me down a bit. I jog and what not so I can stay somewhat skinny and boost the sefl confidence and shit.... which not many people help out with in the first place. That all well and good cause when I do that nothing is wrong.... it just the beginning of a day and for that point in the day it is like you are a kid again. You get the feeling of being up that early for santa or cartoons. And you start to wait to make coffee or breakfast cause of some sort of old rule your family had when you were younger around the holidays. So I jog to east Syracuse with my friend and usually walk back alone. What a Joy!

Then I sit and have my coffee and watch all the people come back from away, and go back away. But sure never to talk to then cause it is way to early in the morning and I don't know how to not be mean or actually talk that early in the morniing. After that is when things change up a bit. That sense of you know wut is going to happen today is gone as you start about your day.

On yesterday I told my Sarah that I would be over there early cause she said I could the night b4. So I took my coffee and left. I walked to there and got to watch cartoons cause she was busy cleanin for like the whole early portion of the morning. After that I just went downstairs to the computer cause I was a bit sick to the stomach with the Cig smoke that was taken in earlier and Sarah was smoking a Cig in her brothers room cause she had to watch TV in there. Her brothers were lucky enough to be downstairs in her room to watch that new tmnt movie. So after I was on the Computer for bit I noticed that it lagged like a son of a bitch! So I decided to be the nice guy and restart it for her. So I closed everything down IM windows and all and restarted it and walked up stairs.

By that time I had gotten upstairs Sarah was goin out. She has had alot on her mind that she cant really handle. And I understand that... I wish I could help her but she just won't let people because of her Independent ways, and some fears of being crushed. Which I can understand with her history. So I of coarse went to her to see what was wrong... but before we could actually get to talking her other cousin who wasn't there already obviously showed up. And at the point the Convo kinda died. So she went inside to get another cig, and when I noticed that I was like ok I am gonna just Stay outside.

So I hung out with Stevie for awhile randomly going back in to the house and coming back out cause every time I would go downstairs I would notice Sarah is smoking another Cig. Then at one point I went down then came up because of Linkin Park DVD's instead of the smoking. After that me a Stevie were sooo bored we decided for something to do we could walk to the Vanilla Gorilla and get some free Icecream. Well let me tell you was that ever a fun walk. It is hillarious how I know Stevie is one of the three people the will be able to talk for like 10 miles of walking without a Hitch. And he made good convo talking about stuff that may or may not be true but I tend to believe alot of it.

So then we get back to my house after breaking into his cause the person we know at the icecream parlor wasn't working that day. YEAH I KNOW! But after we got here we goofed off playing different songs and talking more about the people we hang out with and sht shit taht we do. I decided I am not going to go to darts. I am going to cancel and walk with stevie to Sarahs and see her for a bit before she goes to Godsmack. Which I heard already was a pretty badass concert. So I am really happy that Sarah got to go to it.

By the time I got over there Sarah was just down with her shower which I found odd cause I thought that she would have taken it later considering that she still had 2 and a half hours till she was picked up. Then she started doing random stuff the led her to like Ignore me and Stevie so I was just going to leave. Then on my out I went to get a hug and was informed that she wasnt too busy to hang out. So I went back downstairs and waited for her to be done with w/e. After a bit she came and sat down with us and then we heard the door open and she went upstairs. At that point I go to chance her down and go upstairs and realize Dan is the person taht came in the door. So I realized just how much I hate people, went downstairs to inform Stevie of who was here and just had to go outside.

At some point everyone went outside and peoples were doing there random things. Sarah playing with Wil after having another cig. Stevie and Dan were shooting on the net. I was taking it all in and thinking way too much about the day and all the shit in it. Sarah ended up not liking her the pants she had on so she changed them.... along with the shoes. She looked gorgeous either way. But we don't want to make her head to big so me, Dan, and Stevie didn't say much about it. lol (Just kidding about that head thing.) After a bit she was off to have fun the show and me, Dan and Stevie talked. lol Bad Idea numero uno. lol

Then eventually Dan left and Pete showed up. So we waited with Stevie at Sarah's untill he was suposed to go home. As he was leaving I was offered food and was like you don't have to ask me twice. So me and Pete stayed a bit longer. I cleaned and picked up the livingroomish area and ate while Pete was on the computer. So we left on our way to my house. Where my dad wigged out on me because of the Crayon war that happened the night before. After a demanded clean up of that I went and got the truck to go to my friend Dan's birthday party! That was a blast. It is always pretty fun there when everyone knows you and it is like a just friends atmosphere.

And after that I just came home. Not knowing if anyone was doing anything or what. Ate, saw the godsmack aftermath, and just went to bed cause I had to get up in like 4 hours.

I am hoping this shit doesn't kill me. But I am getting warn down by long days, and thinking about stuff that I have to worry about. I don't know.. I will get through it. It is what life is for. But that was my day. Riddled with alot of stuff and still I left shit out. But that is just more to think about to me.

Till next time.... This is AJ Tassi saying "Goodnight and Goodluck"

You know I don't get why people insist on getting on my nerves all the time. I am sure they are un aware that they do it but still. Hypocrites are the worst type of people. And it seems like that is all my friends are. After a long day around the house I go to hang out with my friends and my g/f and it is like I don't even want to associate with them cause of the shit that goes on that I guess no one else can see. Then I am just left to sit here and go to bed stressed out over this shit. It isn't like I am not wanting to hang out with my friends and stuff cause we have a good time sometimes, But these people get on my nerves with shit that is just dismissed by everyone else cause it is common ground. So they get away with it, and it comes to me. I just don't know how to explain it. Especially without people taking it the wrong way and getting offended. So I am just gonna stop.

Wow I haven't talked on this or anything really in quite some time. So thank god its like riding a bike.

So since I don't remember my last entry I will just talk a bit about the summer. For starters I don't have my gas station job thank god! lol no one who was there when I worked there really have their jobs anymore.including my manager which is soooo funny. I am still with sarah and better then ever I must say. I love that girl soooo much it is so unreal. And I am doing the hockey and stuff of coarse which is really cool.

This past may I got my humanities degree at occ so I was gonna try and go back out to Oswego and get my degree for teaching. But when they didn't accept me back I broke it to my family that I don't really want to go for teaching anymore. I mean... you have to understand I hate just sitting there and not physically doing anything. I mean yeah I love history, its a great passion of mine. Helping kids learn it in a fun and constructive way would be awsome too. I just can't do it. I always have sooo much goin on in my life not being able to control my own scheduale and make sure that I will be doing something that will get my hands dirty would make me love my job. And who knows I might be on dirty jobs some day with Mike Rowe. Speakin of graduating I still need to have my camp grad party. I should prolly get on letting people know about that.

I've been quite done with the getting sick thing this summer. I am fine now and plan on keeping it that way. haha Though I really messed up my knee again because I didn't stay off it. I fell down the stairs and then played hockey on it the next day and took a slap-shot right off of it. That isn't the most awesome thing in the world. :P But hockey is def. much needed. The cardio is the best thing. Plus I get to see my Sarah.

So now to Sarah. I fucking love her and she fucking loves me back. :D That is all I should have to say. And I would really appreesh people stop talking shit to me and her about each other. Especially with her and Dan. I am soooooo sick of it. If anything was to happen I am sure I would find out without your help and take action after that. But let me give you some piece of mind. She hasn't cheated on me, not even once. And there isn't the chance that I am going to cheat on her. She hasn't made out with all the people I have been told... and she wouldn't rather be with the other people I was told. She said that herself. Cause get this people... WE TALK! I know it is weird and people don't see it but we talk about almost everything. Actually her exact words were "If I didn't want to be with you and I wanted to be with someone else it would have happened by now" and I am taking that for face cause we said if that happened we were breaking it off right away. Yes when I was working like all day everyday at that hell whole I wasn't able to be there for her like I wanted to. Yes that got her upset and justifiably so. But now we are quite literally better than ever. We hang out all the time and I love every minute of it.

As for the partying... Yeah I still do. I drink a lot more now. but I cut down on the smoking part drastically. I used to smoke like a quarter a day and now I can't remember when I actually had my own stuff. I still do it in really small doses from time to time but it just doesn't do much for me. And I know Sarah doesn't really like it that much for some really good reasons. So I think giving her a little piece of mind with knowing the I rarely do it will be a good thing.

I guess that is it... I'll try do be talking more so if you want check back. till then this is me saying goodnight and good luck.

Yeah... I have no time to right anything in this cause I will end up severly late for work.... But I don't really mind that at all. haha

Such stupid shit has been goin on it is ridiculous and now I have to print off a fucking 13 page article so I can read it at work. Fucking gays!

Alright I will talk more later.....

Well! Yeah I am actually "wearing this old hat" once again as some might say.... But myspace has become soooo gay that it isn't even worth it anymore. So today was fucking colder the a witches tit in iceland. My balls are still decending from near my throat area. lol I had to get up at 6 in the fucking morning to make sure I would get outside in time for the bus. Which sucked cause my bro came over last night and I got soooooo blasted it really wasn't funny. I don't know... I think I am gonna give up drinking just to get fucked up... or lose my problems. Cause it doesn't chase the thoughts away from me.

Anyway... I saw B-rad! aka switch today... that was awsome. I haven't seen that kid in forever... But he went to go chase down some chick and I wasn't into that much so I chilled. We all went out for a smoke although I didn't and yeah... that was not the best fucking moment of the day. lol

Then I decided I was tooo fucking tired for life. So I went to sleep... well after texts from Sarah. That was an awsome two hours. lol But I realized I had to put the dogs out sooooo I had to rush downstairs only to find out that they didn't want to go out. Then I was cold again... even though I style=bold>guess I don't have it as bad as I though.

Then I got more texts cause it was not a computer day for me. lol and I talked to my baby again. :) We semi made plans for her to come over which looked like it wouldn't happen cause her parents are major assholes! But she got to come over anyway so I didn't really care about much else.

I got on pokerstars and talked to some people from buffalo.... it was purdy cool. Then yummy got on and started winning so I went to eat. And that was some good pasta! lol Then I came back upstairs and picked up cause my house was a wreck. Then I realized I was a lazy fuck... but that is for another day. lol

Then Sarah cames over to see my dogs and I was randomly here so I guess she had to stay. lolzzz
But we chilled upstairs and talked about alot of stuff... some very random and pointless but I still love our convos. :P She talked a bit about her childhood and it wasn't tooo good of a story so I just felt the need to hold her. Which made me feel happy I could do. Then we got on a awsome convo about random food in a pantry and that was awsome. But anyways... Yeah never a dull moment... cause everything happens in 1812. But she had to leave after wut felt like no time. Which sucks cause it is getting to the point where I just never want her to leave. I love her much much.

So then we went downstairs and waited for the car do get cool and not freezing. Cause idiots like me like to take care rides in sandles when it is this cold. haha But yeah... She showed me pikks she had taken... and she looked amazazing! And I hate her parents for bagging on her cause I know she looks amazing and alot of people envy her figure but all her parents do is put her down. It just isn't right.

I talked to Pete randomly too! That was a bit scary.. I don't even think I thought he would respond but we had a small convo. It was nuts.

Well now I am back at my computer and I miss "my girl" already. :-/ But it goes with the territory I guess. It is gonna suck not really seeing her for awhile :-(

Well I might post more tomorrow...
Later d00dzzzz
Heart loves you.

You know one sits there and thinks what happened in a relationship. Or how fucked up there family life is and they sit there and do the self mutaltaion as for cutting. While the whole time all I can think of is really why? Speaking from experience because I have done it MANY times and it is truely something that feels helps in the very short term. But then you are stuck with the guilt of seeing what you have done to yourself and then it is worse. And I sit hear helping so many of my friends with this problem by just saying call me and I will help. But then the thought never crosses there mind cause they think they need to cut and that I wouldn't help. I think the one thing you need more than cutting is for someone to be there. And to all the girls and the one guy I know that do it and I have said that you can call me anytime.... I meant it. I am always here to help you. You may not want help because hey who cared about you before right?.... It is just something you have done all your life..... Well maybe if you are around someone who cares enough not to see you hurt twice and doesn't want to see the cut tracks on your arm and he (me) is there for you you wont do it. That would be the best thing for you. So he left for stupid reasons, So she is moving away, So you can't be with him because of her, so you still love that guy.... All of it will be helped in time... all you need is to reach out to the few who really care and can make you feel better with there advice.

One thing that gets me is why would you put up with all the shit? It is quite odd that soooo many things go wrong and make you feel like crap, and make you sick ad mad. But yet you do nothing about it. It isn't right for him to be killing you. Think about that. He needs to seriously change cause he is purposly doing the one thing he says he wants to prevent. He is hurting you. which is wrong. I hate to say it.... but just think.

Now here is something to get you thinking. A simple question of love. Now I have seen first hand others parrels of "love" and in my own right have had hardships as of late pertaining to the one I love. But the question remains what do you do about it? Or better yet maybe we should thing of what can be done about it? You can look at any situation. Stupidity, another person, Not caring anymore. But in each situation what can be done? If your other half did something wrong or sinful are you supposed to just shut that person out even if you really love them? And what about another person? If you love someone is it actually right not to be with that person? Or is it right to lead either the person you are with or the other whom you may or my not love in return until it gets worse? And finally what can be done about a lost love? When the thought and caring is no longer in site. It isn't right to act like you don't care, but it isn't right to make it look like you care when you really don't. Even though there are many questions that arise in these examples... the actual question still remains.... What do you do about love?

My only question is why? I understand that there are bad qualities for some and not others.... or there is something that is done that is annoying or offensive to other people....And in that case it is fine to do that. Even more so if you have a good friend or a boy/girl friend at the time. A small change never hurt anyone. But one thing I have noticed quite a bit of is a large chyange in people that makes these people not seem normal anymore. And the weird thing is the change isn't even for that person.... it is for a good friend or a signifcant other at the time. But don't you think that having to change soooo much for the one person is wrong. I have a friend named kristen.... and she treats her boyfriend like shit. He can't talk to another girl without her saying she is leaving him and he can't really go out with anyone unless she is around. Now I am sorry but that is wrong. Why would you go out with someone you dont trust? Another well there are two remotly alike but My friend Christian... now don't like kill me for this bro but your girlfriend is bi. And you knew this for 2 years. Now why would you tell her she can't do it anymore just because you are together? It isn't her fault that she is sexually attracted towards girls. The point is she is attracted to you as a guy!!!!! And yes... I am guilty of this same thing but the girl can atest to the fact that I told her it was perfectly fine... I one didn't like the way it was used against me and two it chewed me away because I knew I shouldn't have done it. I fell in love with one girl... and for me to tell her not to do something that is a part of her and have her actually do it is wrong on the highest level. Now don't get me wrong here. There are some things that for the girl or guys own good should be stopped and you as the other half should work TOGETHER to get it done. But the controling is bullshit. There is no need to change the way you act to someone, or change your social group, or yes even change yourslef. Cause if they don't like you like that... they DON'T love you. They like the way you look and want there dream girl rom there minds.

The truth is despite minor things... and mishaps, and fights.... They should still see you in there minds as their dream girl. You should be the focus of what they compare people to. That is getting to be a smaller and samller group. and I can see it happening right in front of me. If you want to know just ask. I will tell you if you have changed.

Signed. AJ~

I feel so emo.

YourMortalWounds: aww, i'm sowwy
YourMortalWounds: why are you confused?
XSuicidalTrainsX: sorry?
XSuicidalTrainsX: I am not
XSuicidalTrainsX: I jsut hate being confused
YourMortalWounds: ohhh
YourMortalWounds: doink. sorry, blonde moment
XSuicidalTrainsX: lol.. I know y I am sad. lol
YourMortalWounds: awww
YourMortalWounds: talk to me
YourMortalWounds: tell me why you're sad. i haven't really talked to you in a long time
XSuicidalTrainsX: It is stupid shit.
YourMortalWounds: well, tell me
YourMortalWounds: duh
XSuicidalTrainsX: Well It is jsut people I really really care about making me feel like a real royal fuckup for life.
YourMortalWounds: like who? if you don't mind me asking
XSuicidalTrainsX: Family and friends.
XSuicidalTrainsX: Supossed friends
YourMortalWounds: awww, i'm sorry

Auto response from XSuicidalTrainsX: Why do I still feel sooooo bad?

YourMortalWounds: i don't make you feel like shit, do i?
XSuicidalTrainsX: No. But it seems like people I would take a bullet for just try to be cruel.
YourMortalWounds: i'm really sorry
YourMortalWounds: that is very shitty of them
XSuicidalTrainsX: Yeah.
XSuicidalTrainsX: I can't say I hate them either.
YourMortalWounds: life's too short to hate
XSuicidalTrainsX: But they soooo make me feel like I am worthless
YourMortalWounds: so it's good htat you don't
YourMortalWounds: what do they say or do that make you feel that way?

Auto response from XSuicidalTrainsX: Why do I still feel sooooo bad?

XSuicidalTrainsX: That I don't want to relive
YourMortalWounds: you will. it will take time
XSuicidalTrainsX: Even though I will cause they tend to do it alot
YourMortalWounds: it's alright. you don't have to tell me if it hurts too much








XSuicidalTrainsX: Stupids:::
AlmostGoth623: what's the AM about?
XSuicidalTrainsX: Stupid shit cause people have to make me feel like I am a worthless piece of shit
AlmostGoth623: but you're not
XSuicidalTrainsX: Well thankyou... thats 1- 90
XSuicidalTrainsX: you are losing
AlmostGoth623: well i don't care if i'm losing.... i'm me..... and if i say you're not you're not, cause i'll tell the truth
XSuicidalTrainsX: lol the funny thing is the person/s that made me feel like shit were being honest too.
AlmostGoth623: ah, well you can count on me... i don't think you're anything like that, you're the shit, you remember that, i said so
XSuicidalTrainsX: lol
XSuicidalTrainsX: Seflesteem is quite low.... but thanks alot
XSuicidalTrainsX: I hate emo drama bullshit!!!!!!!!!
XSuicidalTrainsX: ::STUPIDS;;
AlmostGoth623: lol
AlmostGoth623: you're always welcome
AlmostGoth623: yeah, me too
AlmostGoth623: exactly
XSuicidalTrainsX: It is fucked up.
XSuicidalTrainsX: I keep letting the same people fuck with me
XSuicidalTrainsX: I swore I would never let that happen
XSuicidalTrainsX: But it is all fucked now
AlmostGoth623: i've done that one before... and it is fucked up
XSuicidalTrainsX: Yea I can't get out of it cause I have feelings like I care about some people too much to just let them go and fuck there lives up.... But at the same time I can't do anything to help them... It is soooo....
XSuicidalTrainsX: ::STUPID::
AlmostGoth623: ppl usually walk all over me
AlmostGoth623: *shrugs*
XSuicidalTrainsX: Yeah but how much do you care about those people?
AlmostGoth623: yeah, i've done that before....
AlmostGoth623: alot
XSuicidalTrainsX: It is harder when you would like take a bullet for someone and they would jsut piss you away
AlmostGoth623: i mean some of them i'd give my life for
AlmostGoth623: yeah, i'd hate that
XSuicidalTrainsX: Yeah it is killing me
AlmostGoth623: yeah, i'm sorry
XSuicidalTrainsX: Yeah... everyoen is.... makes me feel emo and I hate it. lol
AlmostGoth623: i hate feeling emo, i was emo all day
AlmostGoth623: lol
XSuicidalTrainsX: lol eww why?
AlmostGoth623: just everything getting to me.........????
AlmostGoth623: i he was feeling bad, and i was kind of sad earlier
XSuicidalTrainsX: ahh
XSuicidalTrainsX: just everything getting to me.........??? ?

Auto response from XSuicidalTrainsX: Why do I still feel sooooo bad?


XSuicidalTrainsX: lol
XSuicidalTrainsX: stupids!!!
AlmostGoth623: school, family, friends, just shit like that is getting to me

I missed you so much that I begged here to fly here and see me
You must've broke down cuz you finally said that you would
But now that you're here
I just feel like I'm constantly dreaming
But something's gotta go wrong
Cuz I'm feelin' way too damn good

For 48 hours I don't think that we left my hotel room
Should show you the sites cuz I'm sure that I said that I would
We gotta make love just one last time in the shower
Well something's gotta go wrong cos I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like...

Everytime I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down
And where it lands is when it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
Cuz something's gotta go wrong
Cuz I'm feelin' way too damn good

Sometimes life ain't best if left in the memory
It's better kept inside than left for good
Lookin' back each time they tried to tell me
Well something's gotta go wrong
Cuz I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like...

Everytime I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down
And where it lands is when it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
Cuz something's gotta go wrong
Cuz I'm feelin' way too damn good
Feelin' way too damn good

I missed you so much that I begged here to fly here and see me
You must've broke down cuz you finally said that you would
But now that you're here,
I just feel that I'm constantly dreaming
Cuz something's gotta go wrong
Cuz I'm feelin' way too damn good

And it's like...

Everytime I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down
And where it lands is when it should
This time it's like
The two of us should probably start to fight
Cos something's gotta go wrong
Cos I'm feelin' way too damn good

Feelin' way too damn good

I missed you so much that I begged here to fly here and see me

Feelin' way too damn good

I missed you so much that I begged here to fly here and see me

Wow.... Today was actually nice. lol and I spent the shole day doing something....I haven't spent the whole day away from this stupid comupter and the people on it for a while...well most of the people on it. Today was pretty awsome though. I had much fun. Catch you all later.